It is likely not 100% accurate.
Until Recently Top Stories
“Without any provocation,” allegedly, which seems unlikely but must be taken as true for now.
Or trespassing, but “burgling” is funnier.
In this edition: dysfunctional demand notes; good punctuation (but bad behavior); the great-great-grandson of Kaiser Wilhelm II; a Bigfoot sighting in Kentucky; and why you shouldn’t throw a refrigerator off a cliff in Spain.
Reports of clown involvement may have been exaggerated.