December 2005


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Afternoon, Your Honor . . . D’oh!

Jacob Vandeven, 27, of Whitewater, Missouri, got off relatively easy after he was charged with drunk driving and causing an accident in which people were injured. Charged with a felony, he was allowed to plead guilty to a reduced misdemeanor…


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PETA Staffer Changes Name to “Kentucky Fried Cruelty”

The youth-outreach coordinator for People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, formerly known as "Chris Garnett," has legally changed his name to "KentuckyFriedCruelty.com" to further PETA's protest against Kentucky Fried Chicken for alleged chicken abuse. "People don't believe me at…


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Lack of Courtesy Costs Lawyer $18,950

Last week, the California Court of Appeal upheld a $18,950 fine against Thomas Mesereau, Jr., for failing to be "civil and courteous in communicating with adversaries." Specifically, Mesereau, who was representing Robert Blake in his murder trial, called his adversary…


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South Korea to Issue Indictments by Cell Phone

Reuters News reported yesterday that, starting today, prosecutors in South Korea will be informing people they have been indicted by sending a text message via cell phone. U R N DITD — CALL ME! 8-P Officials said that the text…


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More Bad Santas

In addition to "Santarchy" in New Zealand, many other stories this week of bad Santas all around the world. For some reason, many of them seem to be operating in Germany. There were at least three reports of bad Santas…


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Santa Fights Off Scottish Punks

A Santa Claus at the Paisley Centre mall in Scotland (I think) was being praised as a hero this week after he fought off a gang of teenagers who attacked him as he was giving out presents to children. Not…


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Where Not to Flee After Robbing Someone, #174

Into the tiger den at the zoo. Officials at this particular zoo, in Bloemfontein, South Africa, have said the Bengal tigers in question "will not be destroyed because they were blameless." AP via SFGate.com


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Hussein Can Poke American Eyes With Own Hands

More comedy this week from the Saddam Hussein trial in Baghdad. Hussein claimed on Wednesday in one of his patented courtroom outbursts that he has been beaten "everywhere on [his] body" by Americans while in detention and that he has…


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David Letterman Fights TRO Granted to Crazy Lady

Here’s how easy it is to get a temporary restraining order — a woman in Santa Fe has been granted a TRO against David Letterman apparently based on claims that Letterman has caused her mental cruelty and sleep deprivation for…