On Friday I became the fourth person to my knowledge to claim to be the father of Anna Nicole Smith’s millionaire infant. Some may think that claim is open to question simply because I never had sex with Anna Nicole and in fact was never knowingly anywhere near her, but today’s development shows that is not a requirement.
The New York Daily News is reporting today that it has a document saying that Smith froze the sperm of her late husband, J. Howard Marshall II, before his death and may have used that to become pregnant last year. (To be entirely correct, I should say that CNN says the New York Daily News says it has a document that says this. I don’t let triple hearsay slow me down.) This paternity claim from beyond the grave may or may not trump last Friday’s fake-prince claim, but I do think it bolsters my claim to some extent, as I am at least alive.
The CNN story also raises the possibility of at least two more contenders. It notes that newspapers in the Bahamas today published pictures of Smith embracing (in bed, but with clothes on) the country’s immigration minister, Shane Gibson, who has been criticized for giving her "special treatment" — meaning he granted her permanent residency in the country last year. The pictures of the Bahamian huggery were obtained from an "unidentified source," and members of the opposition party said they would look into the matter.
Meanwhile, the South Carolina man who allegedly gave Smith the Bahamas mansion in which she had been living, G. Ben Thompson, says the house was not a gift and that he wants it back. CNN says that Thompson "once dated Smith," and it seems to me that once is enough.
Neither Gibson nor Thompson have yet formally made a baby claim, so the total is still at five, with two possible alternates.