The excellent comedy site Cracked.com specializes in lists, and I noticed that today’s list addresses a subject frequently covered here, namely “Baffling Mistakes Criminals Apparently Make All the Time.” There are lots of ways to categorize these, but here is Cracked’s list:
- Make sure you have the proper tools [e.g., no bananas, snakes, or Star Trek props];
- Fight the urge to give away personal information [a very frequent mistake];
- Keep in mind that there is a time and a place for everything [do not check Facebook or make some fried chicken during the crime];
- Choose your targets wisely [trying to rob a karate school or police convention is a bad idea];
- Be wary of strangers offering you money/drugs [these are frequently police, or the person you stole that cell phone from]; and
- Cover your tracks [or do not make any by walking through deep snow].
Also popular on Cracked recently: their list of “The Six Most Statistically Full of Sh*t Professions,” which I am mentioning because it seems true, it’s funny, and maybe most importantly, because lawyers are not on the list. The six professions were, in reverse order of being full of it:
- Stock-market experts
- Wine tasters
- Art critics
- Criminal profilers
- Weather forecasters
I imagine that lawyers did not make this list because Cracked limited it to professions for which they had found a study that tested the accuracy rate and because lawyers may be better at avoiding predictions in the first place. Weather forecasters especially would have trouble dodging that requirement.