Baffling Mistakes Criminals Make All the Time

LTB logo

The excellent comedy site specializes in lists, and I noticed that today’s list addresses a subject frequently covered here, namely “Baffling Mistakes Criminals Apparently Make All the Time.”  There are lots of ways to categorize these, but here is Cracked’s list:

  • Make sure you have the proper tools [e.g., no bananas, snakes, or Star Trek props];
  • Fight the urge to give away personal information [a very frequent mistake];
  • Keep in mind that there is a time and a place for everything [do not check Facebook or make some fried chicken during the crime];
  • Choose your targets wisely [trying to rob a karate school or police convention is a bad idea];
  • Be wary of strangers offering you money/drugs [these are frequently police, or the person you stole that cell phone from]; and
  • Cover your tracks [or do not make any by walking through deep snow].

Also popular on Cracked recently: their list of “The Six Most Statistically Full of Sh*t Professions,” which I am mentioning because it seems true, it’s funny, and maybe most importantly, because lawyers are not on the list.  The six professions were, in reverse order of being full of it:

  • Stock-market experts
  • Wine tasters
  • Art critics
  • Criminal profilers
  • Weather forecasters
  • Sportswriters

I imagine that lawyers did not make this list because Cracked limited it to professions for which they had found a study that tested the accuracy rate and because lawyers may be better at avoiding predictions in the first place.  Weather forecasters especially would have trouble dodging that requirement.