1. You own an iPad.
2. You own a fancy case for your iPad.
3. You paid $500 for your iPad case because it's part of The Bernie Madoff Collection, which means it's made out of Bernie Madoff's old clothes.
That one, mind you, is 100% Cashmere, so it's worth a little extra.
Even better evidence: you opted for an iPad case made from a pair of Bernie Madoff's pants: