October 2011

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They Made Apollo 11 Go Through Customs

Departure from:   MOON Arrival at:             HONOLULU, HAWAII, U.S.A. Flight No.:            APOLLO 11 Cargo:                  MOON ROCK AND MOON DUST SAMPLES Nothing else to declare, I guess. Except that they had just Walked on the F*#%ing Moon! Probably…


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The Have-Lunch-Nearby Getaway Plan Is Still Not Working

Readers who are also aspiring bank robbers please take note: although it may seem like a clever idea to stay near the bank afterward on the theory that it'll be the last thing they expect, the police have actually thought…


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How Do You Plead? Yadda Yadda Yadda.

Please remember, even if it's only traffic court, you should at least appear to be taking things seriously. The Queensland Times reported recently that a 27-year-old woman irked a local magistrate with her response to his questions about her driving offense. Asked…


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Case Dismissed, Says Judge Who Didn’t Want to Catch the Flu

I've previously written about odd reasons for seeking or granting continuances, including several based on somebody's favorite team being in the playoffs, one based on the fact that deer season was about to start and so it would be hard…


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Hooters Suing Twin Peaks, Which Previously Sued Grand Tetons

The Atlanta Journal-Constitution reports that Hooters of America, which you will not be surprised to learn is the operator and franchisor of Hooters restaurants, has sued a former vice-president and his new company for allegedly stealing Hooters' trade secrets. The…


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Assorted Stupidity #29 [Updated]

Normally a voluntary departure means no unemployment benefits, but if your boss is offering cash prizes for guessing who will be fired next, you can probably quit and still get paid. "Egregious and deplorable," said the ALJ who approved Misty…


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How to Get Back at Your Ex: First, Kill a Bear

It’s too bad Clyde Gardner gave up on his first plan for killing his ex-girlfriend, because step one involved an encounter between him and a bear. Most likely, no one would have had to bother with Clyde Gardner any more…


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Police Skeptical of Suspect’s Claim to Be Invisible

Here's some free advice. If you find yourself telling someone that you are "invisible" and "unstoppable," and the person you are telling that to is a police officer, you are neither one of those things. I guess that's really all there…