Strange Doings in Colorado

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From the police blotter for Highland Ranch/Lone Tree, Colorado:

Mustard

A little further down, there's a report of an apparent burglary — though no money was taken — at a "Cheeburger Cheeburger" restaurant. Coincidence?

The same list includes the reported theft of a pitbull named "Sweet Potato," as well as an attempt to use counterfeit money at the "Hot Topic" clothing store: "An employee said two men paid for clothing with bills that might not have been authentic. The ink was running on several of the bills." Patience is a virtue, first-time counterfeiters.

Oh, also, they had a GOP caucus in that state and Rick Santorum won it, which is also weird. And, Santorum's childhood nickname was "Sweet Potato"! Coincidence?