May 2012

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BREAKING: John Edwards Found Creepy Beyond a Reasonable Doubt

By America, at least; the jury in the campaign-finance case has found Edwards not guilty on one count, and deadlocked on the other five. The judge has declared a mistrial on those counts. The not-guilty verdict was on the count involving…


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Don’t Forget to Sign Up for the “Do Not Kill” List

A number of sources (including the Wall Street Journal) report that someone has used the White House's "We the People" website to start a petition asking it to create a "Do Not Kill" list similar to the "Do Not Call" list…


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Another Incident of Taco-Related Violence

Filled with danger Hot on the heels of this weekend's news that somebody tried to run over another person for canceling a taco order comes this report that a 23-year-old man crashed his truck into a Taco Bell after it failed…


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Good Reason to Kill #23: Canceled His Taco Order

Police [in Corpus Christi] said a 17-year-old man canceled his taco order when he realized he was late for school. The 19-year-old man followed the teen and tried to run him over with his truck, police said. He missed, but…



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Lawyer’s Defective-Breakfast Suit Dismissed

In one of the year's least-surprising results so far, Richard Katz's lawsuit against his health club has been dismissed. Katz sued The Setai Wall Street Club and Spa last year, alleging it had broken a promise to provide him with a…


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Edwards Jury Asks for “the Haircut Letter”

Well, this can't be a good sign — for John Edwards, anyway. The jury that is currently considering whether to convict him for alleged campaign-finance violations asked yesterday for a copy of the "haircut letter." Elderly rich person "Bunny" Mellon,…


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Does Congress Need to Be Held Back a Grade?

There are various software tools available that will let you determine the "grade level" and/or complexity of a particular piece of text. The Sunlight Foundation ran a couple of decades' worth of the Congressional Record through one of them, and the…


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Hawaii’s Now Asking Birthers to Prove Who They Are

Ken Bennett, Arizona's secretary of state, is the latest person to question the President's birthplace, although he's doing it the way people do when they want to call it into question but don't want to seem like a loon. Bennett, a Republican…


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THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE

A woman defended herself with a "pooper scooper" for nearly half an hour while a man tried to hit her with another pooper scooper in Plymouth Pillars Park early Thursday, according to the Seattle Police Department. There don't appear to…