Cc: xxx REDACTED xxxx
Subject: //// SECURITY ADVISORY////
REVISED VERSION OF SLIDES DISCLOSED IN WASHINGTON POST — DO NOT CLICK ON THIS LINK
Yesterday you were told not to click on a link that led to classified information in the form of a PowerPoint slide presentation that remains classified though it has been posted on the website of the Washington Post. This is the link that you were told not to click then, or at least it leads to that link, which is equally bad as far as we are concerned.
Today it has come to our attention that there is another link on which you should not click, namely this one, which not only links to the same classified information but also displays it in what the person claims to be a more appealing fashion. For example, he has tampered with the original governmentally created approved slide:
This is unacceptable.
As you know from prior briefings, one of the keys to protecting America's classified secrets is to make information as difficult as possible to interpret, use, and remember. This is precisely why the official slides are so cluttered, poorly designed, and use such an odious color scheme. I mean, what is that, salmon? Would the most technically sophisticated intelligence agency of the world's only superpower actually create crappy slides with a salmonish color scheme unless it was part of a carefully planned strategy to make information difficult to view and assimilate without proper training?
We think not.
The revised slides, purportedly created by one "Emiland DeCubber" posing as a freelance presentation designer (who, worst of all, is apparently based in France) therefore pose an even greater threat than the slides you did not look at yesterday, and your duty not to look at these slides is overemphasized accordingly.
You are also reminded that referring to government intellectual property as "hideous" is a violation of the Official Slide Presentation Anti-Disparagement Act of 2009.
That is all.