September 2013

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O.J. Simpson Actually Not Guilty of Something

FROM:   Kevin Underhill TO:       Public Information Officer            Nevada Dept. of Corrections RE:        Simpson To whom it may concern: Not the most important query you'll get this week, but can you confirm or deny the recent reports that…


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Motorized Bar Stool Was “Not Road-Legal,” Say Police

As you know, the answer to the question whether you can get arrested for Driving a Bar Stool Under the Influence is plainly "yes," because it will be considered a "vehicle" for purposes of the motor-vehicle laws. But another problem…


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UPDATE: Hiccup Girl Convicted of Murder

Jennifer Mee originally became semi-famous in 2007 when she had hiccups that lasted for months and sometimes hit a frequency of 50 hiccups per minute. (They eventually stopped by themselves.) She became more semi-famous three years later when she was…



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Good Reason to Kill #38: Peaceful Easy Feeling

There are at least two kinds of people in Charleston, South Carolina: people who like the music of The Eagles, and people who want to kill those people: When police talked to the victim, he said he had been listening…



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U.S. Pat. No. 35,600: The Plow Cannon

This might be where the term "Yankee ingenuity" came from, although if it was, somebody was being sarcastic: Two New Yorkers invented this and had it patented in 1862. At the time, the battles of First Bull Run and Shiloh…


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Jesse Jackson Jr.’s Off to Jail—So Everything Must Go!

You have until September 26 to bid on some of the personal items that former congressman Jesse Jackson Jr. and his wife bought with campaign funds. Turns out you're actually not supposed to buy personal items with campaign funds, so they…


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To Boldly Snoop Where No Snoop Has Snooped Before

Gen. Keith Alexander now runs the NSA but he used to be in charge of the Army's Intelligence and Security Command. Here's what he spent your money on while he was there: What is that, exactly? This: When he was…


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Women Can’t Vote in Sistersville

Actually, they can, but only because of the 19th Amendment, which was ratified in 1920. If it were up to the city charter, which was enacted 21 years before that and is still in effect, only men would be allowed…