Assorted Stupidity #74

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  • The lesson of this Iowa case is: if one has agreed to build a pond, one has thereby warranted that the pond will actually hold water. In an opinion that I have not read but with which I disagree, the trial court somehow found otherwise.
  • The New York Times reports that Jeb Bush mistakenly identified himself as "Hispanic" on a voter-registration form in 2009. "Needless to say," it went on to say, "neither Bush nor his parents are Hispanic." Maybe he meant to say he identified with the Hispanic?
  • Speaking of Florida men, this one did the right thing by taking a cab instead of driving drunk. Yes, he did the wrong thing by taking the cab to a bank and trying to rob it, if you want to focus on the negative aspects of the story.
  • He was also charged with petty theft because he didn't pay the cab driver, which seems unfair. If he had the money to do that he wouldn't have had to rob a bank, would he? He was going to pay as soon as he could. Well, he told the driver, "I will take care of you when I come out," and again I choose to look on the bright side.
  • A judge in upstate New York has dismissed charges against the owners of an ice-cream-truck business, who had been accused of stalking and harassing a rival company's driver. The defendants complained that they had suffered humiliation because the reports of a turf war between "Snow Kone Joe" and "Mr. Ding-a-Ling" had received worldwide attention, and all I can say is wait until they sue Mr. Ding-a-Ling for malicious prosecution.
  • What? You didn't really think the firm was going to let you get seven hours of sleep or enjoy a weekend without being interrupted by work e-mail, did you? April Fool!