Wow, has it really been two months since I did one of these? That’s weird, because there has been no shortage of stupidity. Oh, no. There has not.
- Congratulations, guy who won the court battle over Charles Manson’s corpse. Now you’ve got Charles Manson’s corpse. Good job.
- According to this report from last week, the guy who ended up winning, supposedly Manson’s grandson, is himself a piece of work. I base that largely on the video he posted on Facebook showing his son holding a Charles Manson doll and laughing about stuffing it with Manson’s ashes if he won the court battle. “We’re going to do things as a family with grandpa,” he says in the video. “There’s nothing wrong with that.” Well, there was the last time the Manson family got together, but he seemed to be talking about going fishing.
- I’m still trying to finish writing up Georgia’s official state crap (there’s a lot of it), and although Minnesota is still a distant dream at this point, I wanted you to know that it is likely to get an official state horse this year. Not an official breed, but one particular celebrity horse. And I was going to make fun of that, but it turns out Dan Patch was one seriously badass horse. No kidding.
- If you’re a lawyer, you’d hope never to see this headline: “Federal judge to [your last name]: ‘That’s not how trials are conducted.'” But if you are Kansas Secretary of State Kris Kobach, you have seen many such headlines recently, if you are still reading news. Because you decided to personally represent the state when it got sued by the ACLU over your BS “voter fraud” law, and you are handling the trial, even though you plainly have no clue at all how to do that. Bonus points: the judge has also used the phrase “Evidence 101” when speaking to you.
- Speaking of trials, the now-former Smirkmaster General Martin Shkreli was sentenced to seven years in prison on March 9. “Do not feel bad for me,” he said, reading a statement and dabbing at his eyes with a tissue. Okay. Actually, seven years seems like a lot under the circumstances, but then he did disrespect the Wu-Tang Clan.
- Finally, if you thought you’d get through the day without reading the phrase “sexually explicit gingerbread house,” well, think again.