Assorted Stupidity

Assorted Stupidity #33

The devoted White Castle customer who sued after he became too fat to squeeze into the booths has dropped his case. As you may recall from Assorted Stupidity #27, Martin Kessman said he had been waiting years for his local…


Assorted Stupidity #32

In response to increased numbers of gadget thefts from people who are drunk and/or snoozing on the subway, the NYPD is reportedly training undercover officers to act drunk. What does that training involve, I wonder? I think these stakeouts are a…


Assorted Stupidity #31

Be on the lookout: someone stole seven guns and a trombone from a storage unit in Seattle. The trombone was not in a gun-shaped case, but it’s possible the thief thought he was stealing eight musical instruments. (KOMO News) Hoping…


Assorted Stupidity #30

Not since this guy faked his own kidnapping has there been a girlfriend-deceiving scheme this dumb. If your poorly scheduled "Craigslist date" knocks on the door at 3 a.m., calling 911 to report her as a "burglar" is a bad option….


Assorted Stupidity #29 [Updated]

Normally a voluntary departure means no unemployment benefits, but if your boss is offering cash prizes for guessing who will be fired next, you can probably quit and still get paid. "Egregious and deplorable," said the ALJ who approved Misty…


Assorted Stupidity #28

I still didn't want to believe that Italy was actually going to put seismologists on trial for manslaughter for failing to predict an earthquake, but that farce did in fact begin on Tuesday. This was just a preliminary hearing, and…


Assorted Stupidity #27

I'm not saying that abducting four young girls from a bus stop and then pleading insanity should disqualify you from ever holding a job again, but it might be considered a black mark if you are running for the school board….


Assorted Stupidity #26

WikiLeaks said today it has "commenced pre-litigation action" against the Guardian newspaper and a German citizen for negligently disclosing decryption passwords WikiLeaks gave the Guardian. In other words, it is about to sue somebody for leaking secret information. Based on…


Assorted Stupidity #25

City's defense to a breach-of-contract claim: contracts aren't valid because the mayor was drunk when he signed them. "Them" being nine separate contracts worth about $1 million. "Again," the mayor said in a deposition, "this was after two or three…


Assorted Stupidity #24

A Twitter response to a post I wrote for Forbes.com about "Caylee's Law" being a bad idea: "what a STUPID article by @loweringthebar [link] STUPID!" I stand corrected. After being told by a judge that your latest mistake shows you are…