Jury Laughs at Hot-Yoga Guy
Which, just FYI, is not a good sign if you weren’t joking.
Brilliant Arguments
You Know, Karl, There Have Also Been Criminals Named “Karl”
In response to the county commissioner who said we should be concerned about anybody named “Mohammed.”
Kansas Senator: Terrorists Could Infiltrate Fort Leavenworth by … Submarine?
Gimme a break, Pat.
"Home of Throwed Rolls" Sued for Throwin’ Rolls
Really for hittin' a gal in her cornea and whatnot after them rolls was throwed. But there's lawyerin' afoot now, that's definite. Lambert's Cafe was founded in Sikeston, Missouri (in the "bootheel") in 1942, and now has three locations due…
Cops: We “Expected Privacy” Because We Tried to Smash All the Cameras
It was totally unfair that the victims had a backup set.
U.S. Government: Lasers are Evil
I ask for one thing: a shark with a frickin’ laser beam attached to its head. But no.
DEA Agent: If You Legalize Pot, Rabbits Will Get High
In which a DEA testifies to witnessing “rabbits that had cultivated a taste for … marijuana,” and had lost all motivation.
Plaintiff: Disney Promised to Help Me Build an X-Wing. Court: No It Didn’t
Plaintiff’s complaint did everything but state a claim for relief, the judge decided.
NoYouCantWriteABriefLikeThisToGetAroundTheWordLimit
Appalling.
A Few Tax Arguments Not to Make
Hey, your taxes are due this week—or ARE they? Yes, they are, that was a figure of speech. You have to pay them.