Civil Procedure

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NoYouCantWriteABriefLikeThisToGetAroundTheWordLimit

People sometimes ask where I find "all this stuff" as if there were a limited amount of such material. There is not. It is endless. The well is deep, my friends. Nay, do not seek the bottom, for it cannot…


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Judge Criticizes “Behemoth Pleadings”

Here are some words & phrases that you really don't want a judge to apply to anything you file: sprawling behemoth surplusage larded with brims with masquerading as voluminous breathtaking madness chokes the docket intended to overwhelm labyrinthian prolixity of…


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Supreme Court Litigant Fails to Show Up

Just a quick update to say that those of you out hunting for Bobby Chen (see "Could Someone Ask Bobby Chen to Call the U.S. Supreme Court?" (Dec. 20, 2014)) can call off the search. Although the Court had agreed to…


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Could Someone Ask Bobby Chen to Call the U.S. Supreme Court?

The Court was planning to hear his case, but now it can't find him. Of course there are lots of Bobby Chens out there, but the Court is interested in the Bobby Chen who filed this petition for certiorari (via SCOTUSblog) that…


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Various Plaintiffs v. Various Defendants

Justin writes: I was a little flummoxed when I saw this caption. I thought, “That can’t be right. Someone at Westlaw must have been screwing around.” But … there it is. It’s beautiful in its simplicity. It’s the all-purpose caption! Think…


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Bad Attitude Costs Texas in Fee Dispute

Hey, I get it—sometimes when you win and you think the other side's position was bogus, it's hard not to get all smug and self-righteous. But you really should try. Not trying very hard—well, not trying at all—cost the State…



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“No, You’re Still Deceased,” Judge Tells Dead Man

"[There's a] man sitting in the courtroom, he appears to be in good health," noted Judge Allan Davis on Monday. But by the end of the hearing, that man was dead. He had also been dead when he walked in,…


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Okay, Sir, I’m Going to Make Two Hand Gestures at You Now

I have no idea what the underlying issue was here—apparently some kind of traffic violation—but the clip is well worth watching because you just don't get that many chances to see an attorney and a witness repeatedly flip each other…


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Here Come the Other “Happy Birthday” Lawsuits

Here we go: according to a press release I just got, two more plaintiffs have filed "Happy Birthday" lawsuits—not meaning that they sued somebody on his or her birthday but they are jumping into the litigation over whether "Happy Birthday…