Civil

God’s Class Action Dismissed

Woe unto you, lawyers! for ye have taken away the key of knowledge: ye entered not in yourselves, and them that were entering in ye hindered. Luke 11:52 (KJV) Well, the Lord’s lawsuit against all similarly situated homosexuals lasted just…


God Files Class Action Against Gay People

I know exactly what you’re thinking—one god isn’t enough gods for a class action. That makes no sense at all! And even if there were more than one, how likely is it that they would be similarly situated so that one…


NoYouCantWriteABriefLikeThisToGetAroundTheWordLimit

People sometimes ask where I find "all this stuff" as if there were a limited amount of such material. There is not. It is endless. The well is deep, my friends. Nay, do not seek the bottom, for it cannot…


Judge Criticizes “Behemoth Pleadings”

Here are some words & phrases that you really don't want a judge to apply to anything you file: sprawling behemoth surplusage larded with brims with masquerading as voluminous breathtaking madness chokes the docket intended to overwhelm labyrinthian prolixity of…


Twitter Takedown of Scottish Scam [Updated]

Scottish lawyer Malcolm Combe recently posted this tale about a promoted tweet gone wrong. He and several other lawyers went after a company called Highland Titles, which was making this offer: For just 30 quid, it would appear, you can…


Utah Court Says Woman Can Sue Herself

You might not consider Utah the most progressive state, but it has become the first to grant its citizens a controversial right that many have long been denied, proving that the law does evolve. Utah has now become the first…


Tom & Jerry Go to Court

Randy Spencer is an attorney who bills himself as "the only stand-up comic to specialize in insurance," and—oh, well, here he is performing at Caroline's, Mr. Skeptic. You don't think that's possible and yet here you are reading a "legal-humor…


Supreme Court Litigant Fails to Show Up

Just a quick update to say that those of you out hunting for Bobby Chen (see "Could Someone Ask Bobby Chen to Call the U.S. Supreme Court?" (Dec. 20, 2014)) can call off the search. Although the Court had agreed to…


Ride Something Dangerous Down a Hill Today

"Dubuque is overflowing with things to see and do," says TravelDubuque.com, in a statement that's apparently also supposed to apply in January, when the average temperature there is about 26 degrees (-3 in Canadian degrees). Officials are trying to cope…