Shape-Shifting Donkey Prostitute Strikes Again
She turned into a donkey just before police arrived, it appears.
Crime and Punishment
In Canada It Is Illegal to Alarm the Queen
In response to the news that it may soon be illegal to insult an Australian Minister for Gaming, a number of Canadians have informed me that it has long been illegal there to do any act "with intent to alarm…
Adult Baby Cleared of Social Security Fraud
After an investigation prompted by U.S. Senator Tom Coburn, the Social Security Administration has cleared adult baby Stanley Thornton Jr. of Coburn's allegations of disability fraud. Why was Senator Coburn bothering an adult baby? Because he saw the adult baby…
Have-Lunch-Nearby Getaway Plan Succeeds!
It was only about a week ago that I mentioned the poor track record of the strategy of sitting down for lunch in the vicinity of your crime, and now here's a case where this actually may have worked. Last…
Karaoke-Triggered Assault Sends Man Through Plate-Glass Window
With the news that half of Americans now favor legalizing marijuana – a number that as many have pointed out is significantly higher than the approval rating of any of our current leaders – isn't it finally time to end…
A Pistol in the Pants Can Lead to Trouble
Doesn't seem like much good could ever come of this, really. Ask Plaxico Burress, or this guy. Bonus points: he was hunting possums. Bonus quote: Mountain Safety Council chief executive Darryl Carpenter said people shot themselves accidentally "surprisingly very little."…
Saudi King Cancels Whipping of Female Driver
The king of Saudi Arabia, who has been making some reforms in an effort to drag that country firmly into the 17th century, has overturned the punishment handed out to Shaima Jastaina, convicted of the unholy crime of "driving without…
Man Demands Hot Sauce at Gunpoint
As we've seen many times, it is rarely a good idea to take the law into your own hands, even in response to the most dastardly outrages such as an inexplicable condiment omission. And yet it continues to happen. On…
Jail Time for Overdue Library Books
The Smoking Gun has the story of a 28-year-old Iowa man now serving ten days in jail for failing to return library books and other items he had checked out from the Newton Public Library. He pleaded guilty last week to a…
Pantless Objection to Topless Protest
I guess it's not quite "Headless Body in Topless Bar," but it's as close as I'm likely to get. At least the story behind this headline is much more pleasant, if almost as baffling. Police in Asheville, North Carolina, said…