Crime and Punishment

Teens Charged With Exploiting Themselves

Let me just warn you in advance that the following sentence will make no sense at all: After a 16-year-old Fayetteville girl made a sexually explicit nude photo of herself for her boyfriend last fall, the Cumberland County Sheriff’s Office…

Wet Willy and Mr. Nub

You might have thought that our nation's court system would not have to trouble itself with the act commonly known as the "wet willy," but if so, you were sadly … well, actually you were mostly right. But not entirely.

For international readers that may not be familiar with the term—I'm sure the act is universal, but not the name—to administer a "wet willy" is to lick one's finger and then insert said finger into another's ear canal. The purpose for doing this might vary from mild harassment to a desperate bid for attention, though I'm no psychologist. The "wet willy" is classified under "petty assault" on the Wikipedia page "list of school pranks" (along with, for example, the noogie, the wedgie, the towel snap, pantsing, "happy corner" and the circle game), and that seems about right as a general description, at least.

Note, however, that if you are a 34-year-old homeless man and you administer a wet willy to a four-year-old boy to whom you are a complete stranger (WFSB, Hartford Courant), Connecticut may instead classify it as second-degree "breach of the peace" and/or "reckless endangerment."

Norwegian Inmate Slowly Paddles to Freedom

Listen, I get it. A policy of throwing most offenders in high-security prisons is counterproductive and doesn't benefit anybody but the people who run prisons. Especially where drug offenses are concerned. That's my belief. And although we obviously need prisons,…

Judge Orders Defendant to Draw Him

According to the BBC (thanks, James), a judge in Northern Ireland has agreed to give a 16-year-old "one last chance" after the boy failed a drug test that showed he had (gasp!) consumed cannabis. After the boy's solicitor argued that…