Criminal Mind, The


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The Mansons Are Registered at Bed Bath & Beyond

Not even kidding: As I'm sure you know by now, or if not I'm telling you, Charles Manson and Afton Elaine Burton were issued a marriage license on November 7. The bride is an attractive 26-year-old who hails from the…


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I Bet That Finger Wasn’t Even Loaded

If I spent a little time searching I could probably find an example of a less effective robbery, but this'll do for today: The suspect said, "Give me your wallet or my buddy will beat you up," but the victim…


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Coma-Faker Pleads Guilty to Fraud

Doesn't seem like it should have taken two years to establish this, but it turns out Alan Knight was lying when he claimed to be quadriplegic and/or comatose in order to avoid court appearances and delay his prosecution. He even…


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ADVISORY: Do Not Attempt to Yank Down the Shorts of a U.S. Marshal

There are exceptions to any rule, of course, but the exceptions here are really quite limited. Perhaps you are also a U.S. marshal and are attending an informal gathering of U.S. marshals during which shorts-yanking horseplay might be expected. Or…


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Sovereign Citizen’s SUV Loaded With Chickens & Ammo

First, credit where credit is due. I got this on Twitter from @xarph, who says he has a Google news alert set up for “sovereign citizen” and reports that the results are “always amazing.” Credit also goes to Raw Story…


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Burglar Defeated by Door Marked “Push”

The world seems somehow different now that Robin Williams is gone, and although any departure changes the world to some extent, this one has affected me (and, clearly, many others) a lot more than most celebrity departures do. He seems…


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Man Arrested After Beating Deputies in Doughnut-Eating Contest

Maybe you cynics out there assumed this was another example of police abusing their authority to hassle someone who embarrassed them, but no. It is another example of people with outstanding warrants not staying out of the limelight. Not the…



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Burglar Succumbs to Facebook Addiction

Seriously? You couldn't wait to check Facebook until after you left the place you were burglarizing? Rhetorical question. He couldn't. I was just looking through previous posts that include the word "Facebook" and wow, it doesn't appear to have ever been…