Documents/Pleadings

“To F— This Court and Everything That It Stands For”

What was I just saying about the bottomless well of human stupidity? (That's the well I was talking about.) The examples are both endless and varied. Here's another brief, for example. At only nine pages, this one is well within…



“The Cause of Action is Denied as Unintelligible”

"An amusing order," said Matt, who sent me this. Matt, you had me at "Living Soul Chief Asan Manuel Mustafah Fearce W. Yahzoo." This comes to us from the Northern District of West Virginia, where yesterday a judge dismissed a…


It’s Just a Flesh Wound

How do you know it's time to give up and dismiss your claim? Well, if the judge is comparing you to the Black Knight from Monty Python and the Holy Grail, now's probably a good time: Actually, the good time…


“Haulin’ Oats”? No Can Do

Early Bird Foods is not the first company to think it would be amusing to name an oats-based product "Haulin' Oats," so it should have known that doing this would be problematic. One of theirless-well-known marks As Rolling Stone reported…


Various Plaintiffs v. Various Defendants

Justin writes: I was a little flummoxed when I saw this caption. I thought, “That can’t be right. Someone at Westlaw must have been screwing around.” But … there it is. It’s beautiful in its simplicity. It’s the all-purpose caption! Think…


Whom the Gods Would Destroy, They First Make Mad

There are many great lines Justice Fergus O’Donnell’s opinion in R. v. Duncan (2013), which was an otherwise unremarkable case except that the defendant tried to run one of those “sovereign citizen” defenses up the flagpole. That didn’t go so well:…


Order Requiring Socks

COMES NOW your humble correspondent and hereby gives notice of the fact that on August 25, 2014, in the case entitled In re Proper Courtroom Attire, then pending in the Circuit Court of Blackford County, Indiana, Judge Dean A. Young, presiding, the…


Call for Transcripts

Last month the New York Times did a fantastic video reenactment of some truly ridiculous deposition testimony. See "What Is a Photocopier? (Deposition, Dramatized)," Lowering the Bar (Apr. 28, 2014) (direct link here). They are looking for more of that kind of thing,…