Good Reasons to Kill

Good Reason to Kill #17.1: Lost at Beer Pong

Oh dear. This new example (thanks, Steve) is funnier than the original #17, mainly because nobody died. Had I foreseen that beer pong would be the cause of another potentially life-threatening dispute, I'd probably have waited, but such are the…


Good Reason to Kill #51: Told My Wife to Keep Her Shirt On

Here's how this one starts: Robert Pierce, whose wife Catharine was involved in a topless gardening dispute in 2010, is set to stand trial on assault charges after police say he assaulted a Regional Transportation District security guard who told…


Good Reason to Kill #50: Would Not Buy a Hat

This case did not involve an angry hat-seller, but rather was an incident of domestic violence, which, I hasten to point out, is never funny except on the very rare occasions it is. According to WKRN in Nashville, a woman was arrested Saturday…


Good Reason to Kill # 49: Second Incorrect Burger

I wanted to put the word "second" right in the headline so I wouldn't give the impression that this woman just flew off the handle and opened fire because McDonald's got her first burger order wrong. That would have been…




Good Reasons to Kill #42-46: Christmas Assortment!

All on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day, all non-life-threatening injuries: #42: Argued about wedding color scheme (stabbed) #43: Argued over apple fritters (stabbed) #44: Argued about location of the Big Dipper (stabbed) #45: Turned off the Crock-Pot (choked & stabbed) #46: Came…


Good Reason to Kill #41: Employee of the Month

It's an old story, really: boy believes he should be Employee of the Month, girl is chosen instead, boy and girl argue, boy shoots girl's car. It still seems worth mentioning, though. According to CBS Miami, a Broward County man was…


Good Reason to Kill #40: Denied Access to Family Cat

Not that it would matter, but the denial was not just out of spite—the cat was apparently in isolation for medical reasons: [The defendant] had just returned home from a Thanksgiving trip, and asked his parents to see the pet…


Good Reason to Kill #39: Took All the Crab Legs

Now that I'm researching this I see it happened a while ago, but it's still a good reason. The incident took place in August 2011, at the Star Buffet in East Lampeter Township, Pennsylvania. The 48-year-old victim later testified that…