Government

Fortunetelling Permits Freely Available in San Francisco

In my research recently amongst the many ordinances of San Francisco, I did not find what I was looking for, but I did happen to come across something far more exciting. It appears that Article 17.1 of the San Francisco…



Airport Screeners Directed Not to Touch Your Monkey

The always-vigilant Transportation Security Agency has promulgated rules governing the security procedures to be implemented when a disabled traveler is traveling with a service animal, in case al Queda figures out how to pack a bunch of explosives into a…


Woman Armed with Gucci Bag Removed from Flight

A spokesman for Cathay Pacific Airlines said they had to call the Hong Kong police to remove a woman from a Tokyo-bound airliner on Monday.  The woman, who was carrying a luxury Gucci handbag, repeatedly refused all requests to put…


Officials Shocked to Find Homeland Security Money Was Misused

The Indiana state Homeland Security Department has told officials in Vermillion County to stop using their official Homeland Security Department Electronic Emergency Message Boards to advertise the local volunteer fire department’s charity fish fry. The 11 message boards, which the…



TSA Clears Self of Suspicion in Inspection Dispute

I forgot this one from three weeks ago.  Debra Sanders of Clearwater, Florida, has accused the Transportation Security Administration of lax security and improper inspection procedures after she got home from a trip to New Jersey. She first suspected her…


French Invasion of Florida Foiled by Authorities

Sirens wailed as agents from the Border Patrol, U.S. Customs and the FBI converged on an airport in Key West on Wednesday, ready to repel invaders. The French had returned.  Specifically, two French people, Alexis Peltier and Yves Stindel, who…


The Latest on Your Homeland Security Dollars

The Washington Times reports this week on spending under a loophole in the "Faster and Smarter Funding for First Responders Act," passed last year in the House of Representatives by a vote of 409-10.  The poorly-acronymed FASFFFRA was a real…


Homeland Security Department at Work Protecting Northern Alabama

In a ceremony Wednesday morning, law-enforcement officers in Homeland Security Region 6 celebrated the fact that additional resources had been provided to secure Region 6 against terror attacks.  So you al-Qaida members who were planning to attack northern Alabama, beware:…