Law Enforcement



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Upon Further Review, I Don’t Know What to Think

Guys, a topic that is kind of interesting but that you should still not bring up on a first date is how the NFL's instant-replay system is similar in some ways to the courts of appeal. Both systems use a…


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Wet Willy and Mr. Nub

You might have thought that our nation's court system would not have to trouble itself with the act commonly known as the "wet willy," but if so, you were sadly … well, actually you were mostly right. But not entirely.

For international readers that may not be familiar with the term—I'm sure the act is universal, but not the name—to administer a "wet willy" is to lick one's finger and then insert said finger into another's ear canal. The purpose for doing this might vary from mild harassment to a desperate bid for attention, though I'm no psychologist. The "wet willy" is classified under "petty assault" on the Wikipedia page "list of school pranks" (along with, for example, the noogie, the wedgie, the towel snap, pantsing, "happy corner" and the circle game), and that seems about right as a general description, at least.

Note, however, that if you are a 34-year-old homeless man and you administer a wet willy to a four-year-old boy to whom you are a complete stranger (WFSB, Hartford Courant), Connecticut may instead classify it as second-degree "breach of the peace" and/or "reckless endangerment."



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Judge: Hulkster Limited at Trial to “One Plain Bandana”

The Hulkster also shall not be referred to as "Hulkster," or even "Hulk Hogan," Judge Pamela Campbell ruled last week. Instead, the plaintiff shall be referred to by his real name, Terry Gene Bollea, during the trial of his case…




Rabbit

DEA Agent: If You Legalize Pot, Rabbits Will Get High

Amazingly, this is not from an episode of South Park, but rather is actual testimony from a DEA agent before the Utah Senate in February. (Washington Post) At the time, Utah was considering a bill to legalize the medical use…