The Inexplicable


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Costumed Bear Harasser Wanted by Authorities, Evolution

Well, this happened: [Alaska Fish & Game official] Lou Cenicola reported that around 7:30 p.m. Monday, a man in a "realistic-looking" bear costume ran through a group of people standing on the side of the road bear-watching. The man ran…


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Wet Willy and Mr. Nub

You might have thought that our nation's court system would not have to trouble itself with the act commonly known as the "wet willy," but if so, you were sadly … well, actually you were mostly right. But not entirely.

For international readers that may not be familiar with the term—I'm sure the act is universal, but not the name—to administer a "wet willy" is to lick one's finger and then insert said finger into another's ear canal. The purpose for doing this might vary from mild harassment to a desperate bid for attention, though I'm no psychologist. The "wet willy" is classified under "petty assault" on the Wikipedia page "list of school pranks" (along with, for example, the noogie, the wedgie, the towel snap, pantsing, "happy corner" and the circle game), and that seems about right as a general description, at least.

Note, however, that if you are a 34-year-old homeless man and you administer a wet willy to a four-year-old boy to whom you are a complete stranger (WFSB, Hartford Courant), Connecticut may instead classify it as second-degree "breach of the peace" and/or "reckless endangerment."





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It “May Appear to Some to Be a ‘Rant’ of Sorts”

In a Facebook post, Tamah Jada Clark, the author of the now-legendary pleading entitled “To F— This Court And Everything That It Stands For,” expresses puzzlement as to why that pleading “has now, apparently, become a ‘big deal.’” She also suggests that “there is…


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“To F— This Court and Everything That It Stands For”

What was I just saying about the bottomless well of human stupidity? (That's the well I was talking about.) The examples are both endless and varied. Here's another brief, for example. At only nine pages, this one is well within…


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NoYouCantWriteABriefLikeThisToGetAroundTheWordLimit

People sometimes ask where I find "all this stuff" as if there were a limited amount of such material. There is not. It is endless. The well is deep, my friends. Nay, do not seek the bottom, for it cannot…