Unnatural Law

God

God’s Class Action Dismissed

Woe unto you, lawyers! for ye have taken away the key of knowledge: ye entered not in yourselves, and them that were entering in ye hindered. Luke 11:52 (KJV) Well, the Lord’s lawsuit against all similarly situated homosexuals lasted just…


LTB logo

God Files Class Action Against Gay People

I know exactly what you’re thinking—one god isn’t enough gods for a class action. That makes no sense at all! And even if there were more than one, how likely is it that they would be similarly situated so that one…


LTB logo

Sauron’s Ring Makes Brains Disappear

As I'm sure you dorks all know, although the One Ring could turn its wearer invisible, it also had the power to influence and corrupt minds. Typically it caused those around it to become consumed with desire for the Ring…


LTB logo

Frozen Guru Update

Just a quick update on the continuing controversy in India over the status of His Holiness Shri Ashutosh Maharaj Ji.


LTB logo

President Adopts Potential Werewolf

In a lovely ceremony last week, the president of Argentina, Christina Fernández de Kirchner, became the godmother of Yair Tawil (second from left). Contrary to some reports, this had nothing to do with him turning into a werewolf. Not directly, anyway….


LTB logo

Legally Dead Man Sentenced to Be Actually Dead

After I reported on the case of Donald Miller, the Ohio man who failed to convince a judge he should not be considered legally dead ("'No, You're Still Deceased,' Judge Tells Dead Man" (Oct. 10, 2013)), several people wrote in to…


LTB logo

Again, Goodwill Does Not Accept Skull Donations

Quick reminder: unwanted human skulls should probably be dropped off at the medical examiner's office, not Goodwill. I thought we had settled this last month when somebody donated three skulls to a Goodwill in Bellevue, Washington, but another one just…


LTB logo

Seattle Still Looking for Skull Donors

The King County medical examiner's office said last week that although it had received three other sets of human bones, it still did not have an answer to its original question of who donated three human skulls to a Goodwill store…



LTB logo

High Elf Update

As a couple of readers have pointed out (thanks Patrick and Jeff), Vocativ.com scored an interview with the high elf who failed in his assault on Morgoth the other day. See "Fingolfin Defeated by Morgoth (This Time in Portland)," Lowering the Bar (May 18). Turns out…