On August 9, the Associated Press reported on the community service being performed by Jennifer Wilbanks, popularly known as the “Runaway Bride.” You may recall that Wilbanks first claimed to have been abducted and sexually assaulted by Mexicans, but later recanted after thousands of dollars had been spent searching for her.
Wilbanks was eventually charged with lying to police. She pleaded no contest and was ordered to serve two years probation, pay about $15,000 in restitution and also to perform 120 hours of community service. The press, apparently looking for things to cover now that things are completely under control in Iraq, reported on that community service earlier this month. Not just one, but a “throng” of reporters and photographers apparently covered Wilbanks’s attempts to mow the lawn of a public building.
As the AP described this gripping event: “‘I’m doing well . . . I’m getting there,’ a sweating Wilbanks told a throng of reporters and photographers after her mower died out in the tall, wet grass. ‘I need to get back to work. I don’t want to get into trouble.’ But her mower kept sputtering out, prompting her to repeatedly yank on the pull cord to get it started again. After the eighth time, she let out a huge sigh.” Oh, the humanity.
The article also mentioned a June interview in which John Mason, the Not-Running-Away Groom, said he thought the couple might still get married “one day . . . . But we don’t know the answer to that question yet.” You don’t know the answer to that question yet, John? E-mail me if you want a hint.