How to Get Reprimanded, #137
Call the judge a "jackass." To be extra sure, describe a whole panel of appellate judges that way. If you want to really lock it down, throw in a comparison or two to Adolf Hitler. This precedent was established on…
2006
New York Man Violates Two Rooster Laws at Once
According to this Associated Press article, it is illegal to possess a live rooster in New York City. That’s good to know. Also illegal: biting off its head. Even if you have a good reason, as Humberto Rodriguez said he…
Woman Armed with Gucci Bag Removed from Flight
A spokesman for Cathay Pacific Airlines said they had to call the Hong Kong police to remove a woman from a Tokyo-bound airliner on Monday. The woman, who was carrying a luxury Gucci handbag, repeatedly refused all requests to put…
“Parent of the Year” Committee Plans Background Checks in the Future
The Parent’s Day Council of South Carolina, which is affiliated with the Washington D.C.-based American Family Coalition (did you know your family was part of a coalition? bet you didn’t), said that it would implement background checks in the future…
UPDATE: Arkansas-Chicken-Man Assaulter Captured
The chicken man said he was grateful police had made an arrest in the case.
Clever New Zealanders Self-Reclassify Cars to Save on Taxes
New Zealand’s Transport Registration Center said it will be swiftly contacting residents who, it has learned, registered their cars as "noncommercial hearses" instead of personal vehicles so they could save about $80 in fees. "Noncommercial hearses" and ambulances are exempt…
Officials Shocked to Find Homeland Security Money Was Misused
Fish fry.
Insurance Company Cancels Christ Insurance
According to BBC News, Britishinsurance.com has canceled the policy it had provided to three sisters in Scotland who have been paying since 2000 for coverage in the event one of them immaculately conceives Jesus Christ when he shows up for…
Arkansas Chicken Man Plagued by Attacks
“People don’t take this costume seriously,” Turnage said of the six-foot chicken suit.
The Tale of Dr. Moodie and Ms. Alice
Dr. Rob Moodie, described as a 67-year-old "high-profile lawyer, former representative rugby player and Police Association secretary," whatever the hell most of that means, has decided to protest the "male-dominated corruption" of New Zealand’s judicial system by wearing women’s clothes…