As I’ve mentioned before, one of the most popular searches that leads people to this site is something like how to get out of jury duty, and here’s the latest idea for that—be Mr. T.
T, born “Laurence Tureaud” but likely not called that in quite some time, was called for jury duty on Monday at Cook County Criminal Court in Chicago. He spent about five hours in court during voir dire for a criminal case, but ultimately was not chosen.
Asia Cartwright and her sister Temeka said they recognized T right away and got their pictures taken with him. Asia said she didn’t know why T had not been chosen for the jury, but it might have something to do with the fact that their mom was the defendant and they had posed for pictures with a potential juror.
Or maybe it was something to do with T’s reputation for pitying fools.
We find the defendant—a fool!
Anyway, T showed up in camouflage and, inconsistently, a garish red-white-and-blue bandanna. The bandanna was apparently to render his mohawk court-compliant, or at least I infer that from the report’s statement that he is sporting a “longer version of his signature hairstyle” these days. (Offering an outstanding piece of trivia, the report claimed that Mr. T is “the only living person besides President Obama to have a Chia pottery figure modeled after him.” Although I bet a Phil Spector Chia pet is in the works.)
Sadly, T was not selected for the jury and was excused that afternoon. “You’ve got to testify!” he told one onlooker as he was leaving the building. Turned out he didn’t mean this literally, though. It may have been prompted by someone commenting on a gym bag he was carrying, which indicated that T works out at the “Lord’s Gym.”
“Tell somebody about it,” he continued to testify, “it” apparently being the Good News. “God is good! I pity the fool that don’t get it!”
According to T, other fools to be pitied would include any guilty defendant, if T were on the jury. “If you’re innocent, I’m your best man,” he said. “But if you’re guilty, I pity that fool!”
What are the odds that Mr. T would not end up as the foreperson?