Allecyn Edwards, possibly wanting to prove she could be as creative as her parents were with her first name, alleged in a complaint filed August 18 that the Brookfield Zoo and its dolphins are responsible for injuries she suffered last year.

Edwards alleges that the zoo "recklessly and willfully trained and encouraged" its dolphins to "throw water at the spectators . . . making the floor wet and slippery."  The zoo and/or its dolphin accomplices are therefore blamed for the creation of said dangerous condition, by which "the plaintiff was caused to fall to the ground while walking upon or along the said area."  Edwards demands $50,000.

A few observations.  First, based on my extensive Discovery Channel research, most dolphins live in water, either a pool of it or, in some extreme cases, an entire ocean.  It appears to be not uncommon for surfaces near these bodies of water to become wet and slippery.  One walking on such surfaces should, therefore, watch out.  Second, the closer a surface is to a body of water, the more likely said surface is to be wet and slippery.  Third, dolphins, so far as I can tell, do not have arms and so are not likely to be able to "throw" water any distance, as plaintiff alleged.  I infer from these facts that plaintiff was in fact walking relatively close to the pool and so would have had ample reason to be careful.

Certainly, dolphins are guilty of all sorts of wrongdoing, like . . . well, they are probably getting away with something.  You can't prove they aren't.  But I'm just saying they probably aren't responsible in this particular case.

Link: Chicago Bar-tender