To:      My Secretary
From: Me
Date:  Today
Re:      You Not Calling in Bomb Threats on My Behalf

As you know, I habitually run late for everything, especially air travel.  It has come to my attention that other people's assistants are willing to go to great lengths to make sure that their bosses make a flight if necessary.  For example, I see that a woman in Miami called in a bomb threat last Thursday to delay an American Airlines plane so that her boss could make his flight to Honduras.  In the future, I would appreciate it if you could show this kind of dedication to your job.

Sincerely,

  Kevin Underhill

P.S.  You should keep $7,500 in bail money in your desk, just in case.

Link: Miami Herald