USA! USA! USA!

The laziest man in the world is not in the USA!

This will come as a surprise to many who mock the apparently unstoppable fattening of the U.S. population, but the laziest man in the world is English. Specifically, it’s English person Paul Railton, who was prosecuted, fined, and ordered not to drive for six months, after he was seen “walking” his dog by driving slowly along with the leash held out the car window.

A cyclist saw Railton doing this on a country lane near Consett, in northeast England, last December, and reported it to the authorities. Railton pleaded guilty this week to “not being in proper control of a vehicle,” but this doesn’t really seem like a reckless-driving offense. But some combination of that, the risk of injury to the dog, and the sheer incredible, blogger-astonishing laziness of it, seems to justify the 66-pound fine that the magistrate imposed.

Railton pleaded guilty although he insisted to the court that “a lot of people exercise their dogs in that manner.” I hope to God that isn’t true, although if you Google “lazy” you will come across some evidence of at least one other such person (right), assuming this shot was not staged in order to illustrate the definition of “lazy.”

On the same page, you will also find this (left), which to me is even more comical but not quite as lazy.

Somehow, two wheels seems to involve more work than four, even if the two are gyroscopically stabilized.

If you are hoping there is a good lawyer quote somewhere in this story, your hope is about to be fulfilled. Railton’s lawyer said his client acknowledged that walking his dog by holding the leash out the car window “was a silly thing to do,” and conceded that there was “an element of laziness” involved.  You think?