“You are not,” Sgt. Spencer Crum told the Sonoma News, “you are definitely not going to believe this.”

At this point I can believe almost anything, which is not to say I can explain it.

On the afternoon of Sunday, May 1, a 53-year-old Sonoma man who is visually impaired … was standing in his apartment when a woman appeared in his doorway, unannounced and unexpected.

The woman told him she was there to give him an enema. Because the man had recently undergone intestinal surgery, he thought perhaps that explained her presence.

The woman deftly guided him to his bedroom, had him drop his pants and lie face down on his bed. She then gave the man an enema and promptly left….

A day later, on Monday, the enema recipient began wondering about what had happened to him but took no action. By Tuesday, he felt compelled to shed some light on the experience, so he contacted police. An investigating officer promptly called the man’s doctor and was told no enema had been prescribed, ordered or approved.

News of the Weird reminds us that someone with a similar modus operandi terrorized Champaign, Illinois, during the 1970s, although the Illinois Enema Bandit was eventually captured. Acording to The Smoking Gun, police still have no leads in the Sonoma case.

Google, which asked me, “Did you mean to search for: sonoma cinemas“? is obviously also at a loss.