You still owe me $20, it complained

“Your worship, I only came to know that I was being intimate with a donkey when I got arrested,” a 28-year-old Zimbabwe man told a magistrate on Monday. The man, who had been arrested for being intimate with a donkey, admitted the conduct in question but claimed that the donkey had not been a donkey when he met her at a nightclub last Saturday night, but rather a prostitute.

“I don’t know how she then became a donkey,” he told the court.

Nor did he know, or at least did not explain, how she had gotten tied to a tree, but that happened sometime between when he hired her and when their tryst was discovered by police officers on “routine patrol” at about 4 am. In fact, he seemed deeply confused about a lot of things. “I do not know what happened when I left the bar, but I am seriously in love with [the] donkey,” he said. “I think I am also a donkey.” Well, if so that would not be a crime, at least.

Otherwise, it is a crime in Zimbabwe, as it is in about 30 U.S. states. The corollary, of course, being that it is not a crime in about 20 U.S. states. As you may recall (not that you are tracking this issue or anything), Florida recently joined the majority by finally passing an anti-this bill after two previous bills on the issue failed.