The Pakistan Telecommunication Authority has issued a list of about 1,700 words (586 in Urdu and 1,109 in English) that it has declared “offensive or pornographic” and so may not be used in text messages.

In addition to the words you would expect, those heinous words “intercourse,” “condom,” “breast,” and “flatulence” are also barred. Sadly, “Jesus Christ” is also reportedly on the list. Inexplicably, “wuutang” and “monkey crotch” are also on it.

According to the (apparently unverified) copy of the letter that has been posted on Scribd, Article 19 of the Pakistani constitution expressly protects the right to freedom of speech and expression, “subject to any reasonable restrictions imposed by law in the interest of the glory of Islam,” national security, diplomacy, “public order, decency or morality or in relation to contempt of court or incitement of an offence.” Other than that, totally protected.