2011

Trump Says He Won’t Run; Nation’s Comedians Mourn

Saying that “business is [his] greatest passion” and that he is “not ready to leave the private sector,” Donald Trump announced today that he would not run for president in 2012. Most likely, what he’s not ready to leave is…




The HAZCOM Song

Those of you who work with the rules governing the Occupational Safety and Health Administration's "Hazard Communication Standard" (not to be confused with the Department of Homeland Security's color-coded "Homeland Security Advisory System," which has at long last been ditched) will…


TSA Says Baby-Frisking Justified

"TSA defends frisking of baby at KC airport," reads the headline of this item, and really they had me at "TSA" but I'm glad I kept reading. I don't know how I missed this picture, since it has apparently been…



Kansas City Ape Owners Must Pay for Rampage, Judge Rules

After a two-day trial featuring "contentious testimony" by 11 witnesses, a Kansas City judge has ruled that the owners of a chimpanzee that went apeshit last year must pay to fix the police car she damaged. As I mentioned at…


Assorted Stupidity #18 [Updated]

"I instantly thought of you when I saw this headline," wrote the submitter. That headline: "West Virginia Man Accused of Killing Neighbor's Goat While Wearing Women's Underwear." Can't be that many people in the world who would find that comment…



The Case of the Dangerous Dachshund

Plaintiff: Plaintiff enters the Penny Pinchers grocery store in West Point, Mississippi, on August 16, 2006. She says hello. She walks down the aisle. Suddenly, the bark of a savage dog rings out! Plaintiff flees, terrified, with the clicking of the…