“I am a lawyer. You can Google me.”

These may both be 100% true statements (they were in this case), but they still aren’t likely to keep you from getting arrested. Also, the odds of that are reduced greatly if they follow the statement, “You are going to die.”

Trying to kick out the window of a police cruiser will knock off a few additional points.

According to the report, the lawyer in question was charged with public intoxication, a charge that might be justified based on the allegations, and with “terroristic threatening,” which surely isn’t. I haven’t looked up the elements of this claim under Kentucky law, but I’m going to object to anything that applies the label “terrorism” (or “terroristic”) to words that came out of the mouth of a drunk 30-year-old woman under these circumstances, even if out of context they sound like threats. Or any drunk person, for that matter, or actually just anything somebody says. Please. Can we cheapen that word any further?

Just FYI, any claim to a high Google rank is not likely to impress anyone, even if you can legitimately claim that you exclusively occupy the first page of results for your name. In this case, that may not have been true. Although maybe I shouldn’t mention that, in case they decide to charge her with fraud, too.