THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE

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A woman defended herself with a "pooper scooper" for nearly half an hour while a man tried to hit her with another pooper scooper in Plymouth Pillars Park early Thursday, according to the Seattle Police Department.

There don't appear to have been any injuries (let alone beheadings) as a result of this incident, one that a department spokesman described, with some understatement, as an "epic battle." The victim told police that the man fled (or just got bored?) after they had dueled for 20-30 minutes, but police were unable to locate the suspect.

"Unless we get additional reports," the spokesman said, "that's probably the end of it." Don't be too sure.

(Seattle Post-Intelligencer, via Dave Barry.)