The recent exploits of one Florida man (via the great Twitter feed @_FloridaMan):

The bizarre string of incidents began at about 2 a.m. Sunday when a neighbor called police and reported seeing a man climbing up to the second floor of a townhouse. The neighbor said he could hear things smashing and items being slammed to the floor….

When two police officers arrived at the scene, they saw the intruder pacing in and out of the house while wearing a t-shirt over his head. When an officer ordered the man to stop, he took off running and jumped over a fence, according to the report.

Police later found that he had smashed all the televisions in the house, thrown mustard all over the walls, and scrawled numerous messages on them (all of which were illegible).

Shortly thereafter he was spotted walking a few blocks away. This "resulted in a long foot pursuit" that also involved a helicopter, several K-9 units, and a brief pit stop:

During the chase, a deputy in the helicopter noted that [the suspect] jumped onto someone's patio and disappeared briefly. [He] then re-emerged running from the home carrying two bottles of Heineken beer, the report said.

It isn't clear whether he drank any of the Heineken (probably didn't have a bottle opener on him). Police said he was seen throwing the bottles. Eventually he was run down by a police dog, which he allegedly punched without much success. He suffered "unspecified injuries during his encounter with the dog," the article says. I'm guessing it bit him.

There is some evidence that controlled substances were involved. (Evidence other than the above, I mean.) The man is facing multiple charges, including striking a police dog, just to add insult to unspecified injury.