It is doubtful if by strict search through the files of the various courts of this state a judgment was ever before rendered in favor of a party upon a document, called “petition,” that would begin to compare in worthlessness with the one in this case.

Powell v. Powell, 18 Kan. 371 (1877).

Zing!

To be fair, though, there probably wasn't much in those files at the time. There's been a lot of worthlessness in the last 137 years.

That turns out to be from the defendant's brief, not the opinion of the court (although the court probably felt the same way about the petition). For whatever reason, the reported opinion includes the briefs by both parties, and plaintiff's counsel made clear at the outset that "[t]he writers of this brief first became connected with this case after the filing of the motion … and hence are not responsible for the pleadings." You got that right, said defendant's counsel, but he still got his dig in.