Haven't posted much this past week because I have been getting some presentations ready. Today's was on a super-exciting litigation topic; on Tuesday I will be talking about my book in Kansas City; and then next Friday it's legal ethics in the legal-ethics capital of the world, Washington, D.C. Anyway, let me try to get caught up a little here.

• Q: How do you know that a first date isn't going that well? A: Your date seems to have disappeared, along with your TV and your dog. (Update: Both items were safely returned by "Joel," who left them in the woman's yard in the middle of the night and sped off, yet is going to be arrested anyway.)

• A colonoscopy is unpleasant enough without having the doctors make fun of you during it. But this wasn't "defamation," as the plaintiff claims, because the statements weren't "published." Just because the plaintiff "inadvertently" recorded the insults on his phone while he was under anesthesia doesn't make that a "publication." (Example: <to unconscious guy> "Really, after five minutes of talking to you in pre-op I wanted to punch you in the face.")

• This is a brief report of a minor crime but it includes the phrase "alleged potato incidents," which you don't see that often.

• Edwin Edwards is back and running for office again in Louisiana. Edwards spent 16 years in the governor's mansion and, more recently, eight in federal prison. Now 86, he announced a couple of weeks ago that he will run for Congress. (State law disqualifies a felon from seeking office for 15 years after release, so Congress it is.)

• Well, at least he's not a crack addict.