I should probably set up a Google Alert for the phrase “I’ve never seen anything like this.” It usually signals pretty good material.
In this case, what the officer had never seen was an incident in which, as The Guardian put it, “two armed ‘polygamist’ women dressed ‘like ninjas’ were subdued by a sword-wielding man during a home invasion.” I’ve written about polygamists, ninjas, and sword-wielding men, but I think this is the first time even I have seen all three combined.
According to the report, the two women, aged 18 and 22, forced their way into the home of a Utah man in an attempt to abduct a 15-year-old girl who was also living there. It appears that another man, who both women called their “husband,” has been charged with assaulting the girl and the women were trying to keep her from testifying. Unfortunately for them, there was a second man also in the home at the time.
It didn’t help that, for whatever reason, he happened to have a sword handy.
The ninjas were armed with knives and stun guns, but to no avail. Swords trump knives, of course—always have—and stun guns too unless they were the kind that shoot darts. They apparently weren’t. Either way, the two men were able to subdue the invaders and hold them until police arrived. The women have been charged with assault, robbery and witness tampering.
Forcing your way into a building is not very ninja-like, nor did they exhibit any ninja skills, but they may at least have been dressed for the part. “I went to the bottom of the stairs and saw a couple of ninjas coming,” one of the men said. “They were all dark gray or black, and they had black rubber gloves on and masks. All I could see was their eyes.” Terrifying. Unless you have a sword and they don’t, I guess.
Previous unqualified-ninja tales here have included “Amateur Ninjas Say They Were Sending ‘Message to Drug Dealers‘” (Aug. 2008) and “East Texas Ninjas” (Dec. 2006); but see also “Mugging Outside Ninja School Goes Poorly” (July 2010).