JUST FYI, THE JUDGES OF THE MIDDLE DISTRICT OF FLORIDA HAVE ASKED THAT ATTORNEYS NO LONGER USE ALL CAPITAL LETTERS IN THE TITLE OF ANY FILINGS. (NO LINK; CO-COUNSEL IN SOME FLORIDA CASES HAS JUST PASSED ON THE REQUEST VIA E-MAIL.) REPORTEDLY THE JUDGES CLAIM TO HAVE DIFFICULTY READING THINGS WRITTEN IN ALL CAPITAL LETTERS AND SO THE CLERKS MUST CORRECT ALL THE ENTRIES BY HAND. JUST AN FYI FOR EVERYONE WHO STILL INEXPLICABLY USES ALL CAPITAL LETTERS FOR ANYTHING.
So you programmed a bot to go online and make one random purchase a week, and one day you come home to find that it bought you some illegal drugs (and a fake passport). Can you tell the cops "those aren't my drugs, they're my bot's drugs"? Short answer: tell them whatever you want, they'll confiscate everything anyway.
Quality detective work: "I was browsing Facebook and saw a post and picture … of a spork that she had stole [sic] from the jail when she was released. The picture was of the spork with the comment 'just a pic of a souvenir i picked up on my 6 month vacation.' … I [contacted her and] asked her if she would return it in exchange for not filing charges and she did so…. The value of the spork is around $.02. Since it is unknown how [redacted] transported the spork out of the jail, I marked it as a 'biohazard' and put it into Property and Evidence to be destroyed." (Via The Smoking Gun.)
This just in: Taylor Swift has been sued. The plaintiff alleges they met in 2008 and developed a friendship. As he is now unfortunately incarcerated, he is asking her as a friend to help him with the legal bills he's incurred in some of his other actions. Or, if not, he would like the court to order her to give him $100 million. Either way. The plaintiff says he thought of this when he realized that her new album is about his life, although I don't think it includes any songs about child pornography.
