Justice Done in Canada With Convictions in Maple-Syrup Heist
To any who would threaten the precious Global Strategic Maple Syrup Reserve: let this be a lesson to you.
2016
French Town That Banned UFOs Is Still Banning Them
There haven’t been any landings since the ban, so ….
Lawyer Indicted for Impersonating a Judge Is Elected to Be Real Judge
But probably can’t serve as a real judge unless she’s cleared of trying to impersonate one.
The Worst Presidential Race in American History
Was, astonishingly, probably not this one.
National Guard Deployed to Seize One Marijuana Plant
The 81-year-old grandmother they stole it from is extremely pissed off.
Tree Not Arrested
It’s not free to go, but that doesn’t mean it’s under arrest.
Tree Arrested
Police initially let Tree off with a warning, but the misbehavior continued.
Assorted Stupidity #96
In this edition: that shark-attack lawsuit settled, amateur thieves fail again, an Australian lawyer beats Domino’s in a pizza-delivery case, and Donald Trump.
Archbishop Criticized for Mass Firing of Bellringers [Updated]
Church officials claimed “decisive action” was necessary to address unspecified “health and safety” concerns.
British MP Demands Correct Pronoun for Royal Yacht
It is the worst problem facing the United Kingdom at this moment.