I hear peace in the Middle East is just around the corner, and that’s good, because then we can focus on an even more intractable dispute: whether Star Trek or Star Wars is better.
It seems doubtful that this is the first time blood has been spilled in this decades-long, all-consuming, and fairly stupid argument over which of the two series is somehow “better” than the other, but that’s what most of the reports seem to be implying. If so, let the record reflect that hostilities began on July 1, 2017, in, of all places, Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, United States, Earth, Sol, Milky Way, Galaxy Group 482A, Quantum Bubble Morphon 3.
According to the reports, two roommates got into an argument on this topic—specifically, which of the movie franchises is better—and things apparently got ugly. One roommate ended the argument (or thought he did) by walking away, but told the other, “You’re just a trick” before doing so. That’s apparently an insult, because the other then got up, followed him to his room and attacked him, according to the police report.
I keep laughing at this detail from the local news report:
[Mr. Trick] allegedly followed the man and shoved him to the ground. The victim got back up and told police he stated “You wanna replay that?” and was once again shoved to the ground.
Careful what you ask for.
Less comical was the choking that followed, which resulted in the production of a pocket knife by the victim and what was apparently a minor cut to the hand of the assailant. This ended the battle (for now), but the assailant was later booked for assault, and unfortunately for him he also had some outstanding warrants, because that’s how that goes.
The police have apparently failed to follow up on the most important detail, however: which of these valiant warriors fought for Trek and which for Wars? We will probably never know—which didn’t stop Captain Kirk himself from speculating, in this message he posted on Reddit:
Well, I guess that’s why Spock usually handled the logic, but I’m not going to argue.
Especially because Trek is obviously better.