I forgot to mention that I would be taking a brief hiatus during the week of the 4th, mainly because I didn’t know I’d be taking it. But then, there I was, on hiatus, and then after a while I wasn’t. Well, enough of this heartwarming preliminary banter.

• Elks v. Elks: I didn’t know San Francisco had an Elks Lodge, but it appears to have at least three, based on a June 17 filing entitled San Francisco Elks Lodge No. 3 v. Benevolent and Protective Order of Elks of the United States of America (Case No. CPF-19-516703, SF Superior Court). The petition alleges, among other things, that the Grand Exalted Ruler suddenly and unconstitutionally deposed the Exalted Ruler and Leading Knight, so that’s what’s going on there.

• For a much dumber dispute involving a much older fraternal group, see “Knights Templar v. Pope Benedict XVI, et al.” (Aug. 19, 2008) (discussing a $150-billion lawsuit by a group claiming to be the Knights Templar, accusing the Catholic Church of certain wrongful actions in the year 1307 anno Domini).

• It sometimes happens that a bandit develops such a reputation that the mere mention of his name will strike fear into the heart of even the most steadfast citizen, but let’s be honest: the Serial Toilet Clogger of Sheboygan is not among them.

• Back in 2011, a number of Democratic legislators fled their home states of Wisconsin, Indiana, and Ohio in order to avoid controversial votes, the idea being to deprive the other side of a quorum for a vote they were almost certain to lose. That’s not how it’s supposed to work, which is why they were mentioned in Assorted Stupidity #14. So it is more than fair to mention here in #125 that Republican legislators in Oregon recently did the same thing. Well, one of the Republicans also pretty much threatened to kill any state troopers sent to bring him back, so there is that difference.

• What issue was he so upset about? Climate change, or rather a bill intended to try to slow it down by creating a cap-and-trade system. Not the dumbest thing that has inspired a murderous rage by any means, but still, pretty dumb.

• Did the walkout work? Yep! Is the planet gonna keep getting hotter? Yep!

• After a six-year legal battle, a couple in Miami Shores, Florida, has won the right to plant vegetables in their yard, because until last week it was illegal in Miami Shores, Florida, to plant vegetables in your own yard. The couple lost their court challenge, but last week the Florida Legislature passed a law providing that local anti-vegetable-garden ordinances are henceforth void and unenforceable. Wait—the Florida Legislature did something that makes sense? Yes it did.

• Did it also define “vegetables” to include “fruits”? Yes it did. (Also “flowers” and perhaps more significantly “herbs,” though state and federal laws regarding certain such herbs will continue to apply.) But let us not be too critical under the circumstances.

• When a 71-year-old Kansas City man said he had robbed a bank (sort of) because he would rather go to jail than keep living with his wife, some wiseasses suggested that releasing him would be the appropriate punishment. See, e.g., Assorted Stupidity #95 (Sept. 20, 2016). Well, they were almost right. On June 13, he was sentenced to six months of house arrest (along with probation, community service, and a small fine). Prosecutors and bank employees asked for leniency, saying they believed the man when he said he had been depressed at the time over health issues and was sorry for what he had done.

• Several good sentences in this item about the latest person to try going through airport security naked. “The TSA officers didn’t allow the [naked] man through the detector” is one of them, especially because they did allow him to just run past it. “I’m just shocked he got that far through TSA” is another one, uttered by a witness who apparently has not been paying any attention at all since 2002. “[P]olice and fire departments … determined that the man did not pose a threat” is a third, because he was naked. See also, e.g., “TSA: Wants to See You Naked, Complains When You Get That Way” (Apr. 18, 2012) (and the rest of that saga).

• I have received an email from a government agency that reads, “Kevin, here is a copy of the 1955 Beaver report you requested,” and I will follow up on that just as soon as I remind myself why I apparently requested a 1955 beaver report from a government agency.

• Okay, this is why. Sadly, the report does not answer the question, partly because I believed it was much more recent. But I have still asked that it be declassified, and will make it available if the government comes through on that.