Lobatoz v. Dream Products Inc., No. BC463269 (Cal. Super. Ct., filed June 10, 2011).

Putative California-only consumer class action filed against Dream Products Inc. in California Superior Court (Los Angeles County) alleging deceptive marketing of the defendant's "Magnetic Slimming Panties." Plaintiff alleges under California consumer protection laws that the undergarments are falsely advertised as having healing properties and health benefits as a result of magnets contained in the undergarments.

Although I specialize in defending companies from consumer-protection claims, which is also good for this blog because many of those claims are so completely ridiculous, I do also sometimes point out cases where there is ridiculousness on the other side. There was the "Q-Ray Bracelet," which a judge once questioned despite the fact that it was made from guaranteed "ionized Bio-Metal"; the hoo-ha over ear-candling; and the time when the dietary supplement "Gary Null's Ultimate Power Meal" almost killed Gary Null. In fact, in connection with the latter story I noted that Gary Null was then selling what he called the "Magnetic Chi-Belt," which he said was "designed to facilitate the use of magnets" in the groin area, although he didn't say what for.

Dream Products seems to have continued to develop this ancient and yet also modern technology.

"For centuries people have believed in magnetic therapy to help improve circulation and relieve aches and pains," reads the copy on its webpage. And people don't believe things that aren't true, but it's not entirely clear whether people also believe magnetic underpants will make them slimmer. Actually, the ad copy doesn't literally say that the magnets will make you slimmer, or even that they will make you appear slimmer. The Spandex in these undergarments might well make you appear slimmer, and although the magnets won't, at $12.97 per garment (on sale!) it is not clear that a premium is being charged for the addition of a magnetic field. But maybe so.

Or, you might want to skip the underpants and go straight to the triple-threat power of the Copper Magnetic Therapy Jesus Bracelet. With copper, magnets and Jesus all working together, this bracelet could not fail to do whatever it is supposed to do. For only $9.97, you can afford to buy one for each limb.

Granted, copper is not magnetic – unless you believe it is! – but on the other hand, this bracelet has the name of Jesus stamped right on it, which cannot fail to imbue it with divine power. And two out of three ain't bad.