This case did not involve an angry hat-seller, but rather was an incident of domestic violence, which, I hasten to point out, is never funny except on the very rare occasions it is.

According to WKRN in Nashville, a woman was arrested Saturday night after assaulting her husband outside Jimmy Buffett's Margaritaville (this was the Nashville Margaritaville, not one of the many other Margaritavilles in what turns out to be a frighteningly large and aggressively expanding Margaritaville Empire). Reportedly, the woman became furious after her husband refused to buy her a hat.

Technically, though, the assault per se wasn't triggered by the hat refusal, but rather came after the man escalated matters by taking off his own hat and throwing it into the street. Presumably this was accompanied by some sort of suggestion that she should go get that hat, but if so the report doesn't mention it. I think it was at least implied, because it was following the hat toss that the woman allegedly pushed her husband into the street with it, and began to choke him. Bystanders restrained her and called police. Domestic-assault charges followed.

The report says that the couple was visiting from West Virginia to attend the Titans game on Sunday, so this would appear to be yet another NFL-related domestic-violence incident.

Unfortunately, the report is short on details (and accurate spelling) so we learn nothing about the hats involved. Assuming the hat not purchased was a Margaritaville hat, it could be one of nine different suspects but I'm going to go with "Margaritaville Straw Gambler" (right) just because it makes me want to punch somebody too. Although you should be punched for buying it, not for not buying it.