Former Real Househusband and formerly licensed attorney Tom Girardi was convicted on August 27 of stealing $15 million from clients, the ABA Journal reports. This and other alleged thefts took place over many years. But who could have suspected any irregularities in the career of this incredibly wealthy plaintiff’s attorney? Not the California Bar, that’s for sure. But see “Disgraced Lawyer’s Crocodile Shoes Sold for $1062” (Sept. 30, 2022); and see also “‘At First Blush, It’s a Lot of Money‘” (Oct. 11, 2006). Girardi’s defense team argued that their now-85-year-old client wasn’t responsible because he suffered from dementia, but the jury found he was because he didn’t.
Do you have a beard that is at least the “length of a fist”? Or can you grow one? If not, you can stop waiting for the Taliban to get back to you on that job application. Muslim scholars disagree about whether Islamic law requires lengthy beards, but the Taliban as usual have adopted the interpretation they can use to justify being total dicks. Over the past year, reports say, they have fired hundreds of “beardless officers” who did not have or could not grow a beard. This is sad, except for those beardless officers who were themselves Taliban and zealously discriminated against other unbearded people (i.e., women). As to those particular officers, it’s hilarious.
A Florida doctor who removed a man’s spleen told his wife the organ was “so diseased that it was four times bigger than usual and had migrated to the other side of [his] body,” according to her lawyers. That might be because it was actually his liver, according to them and also a pathology report cited by the Miami Herald. The spleen is a small organ on the left side of the body; the liver is several times larger and is almost entirely on the right. Although that’s from the patient’s point of view, so … you know. While the liver can regenerate to an extent, that doesn’t work if you take out the whole thing, which is allegedly what happened here. The investigation continues.
Speaking of doctors, one in Uganda has been fined one cow, two goats, and 420,000 shillings ($113 USD) for either fraudulently promising to resurrect someone or negligently failing to do so. According to the report, a “witch doctor” told a family she would perform the aforementioned miracle for 300,000 shillings, but didn’t. The fine(s) mentioned above were reportedly imposed by the parish elders, but the district commissioner has said the woman would also be prosecuted for “disrupting the peace of a dead person.” He also “cautioned the community members to avoid using witch doctors as a solution to their problems,” which seems like good advice.
“[RFK Jr.] cut off a whale’s head with a chainsaw in or around 1994 after finding out that it washed up on Squaw Island in Hyannis Port, Mass., his daughter Kick Kennedy told Town & Country Magazine in 2012,” says this report, and then the story gets weird.
Normally I’m reluctant to pass on stories from the Telegram channel of the Republic of Dagestan’s Ministry of Internal Affairs, but this story of a female chess player allegedly trying to poison her opponent by tainting the board with liquid mercury has been vetted to some extent by Ars Technica, The Telegraph and, more importantly, Chess.com.
