I started this as another edition of Assorted Stupidity, but after noticing that my first three items all had to do with the same person, I decided to devote the entire post to him.

As many sources have reported, rapper/producer Sean Combs, a.k.a. “Puff,” a.k.a. “Puffy,” a.k.a. “Puff Daddy,” a.k.a. “P. Diddy,” a.k.a. “Diddy,” a.k.a. “Love,” a.k.a. “Brother Love,” now a.k.a. “Inmate No. 37452-054,” is facing federal sex trafficking and racketeering charges. The federal indictment follows a series of lawsuits by women accusing him of some pretty horrific conduct, and the release of at least one security video showing him beating an ex-girlfriend.

Combs asked for what would have been a pretty luxurious home-detention stay while awaiting trial, but the judge denied bail, citing concerns about potential witness intimidation. So 054 is currently residing, as you can see above courtesy of the Federal Bureau of Prisons’ handy “Find an Inmate” service, at the Metropolitan Detention Center in Brooklyn. Sources reported this week that he’s sharing a room there with Sam Bankman-Fried, the disgraced crypto mogul, who’s currently appealing a 25-year sentence for stealing $8 billion. It’s a dorm-style room, so they’re not exactly bunking together. But it’s still a mildly amusing development, I suppose because they probably won’t have a lot to talk about. Combs is facing 15 to life if convicted, so there’s still a chance they will be roomies for quite some time.

A fact I found far more amusing is that last September, Combs received the ceremonial “Key to the City of New York,” first awarded in 1702 and which the city describes as “a beloved symbol of civic recognition and gratitude reserved for individuals whose service to the public and the common good rises to the highest level of achievement.” To be somewhat fair, he does have three Grammys, has produced many successful albums, has somehow accumulated a billion dollars from this and other businesses, and has donated several million of that to worthy causes. On the other hand, even in 2023 he had long been, let’s say a controversial figure with many legal troubles, though to again be fair he seems to have beaten many of the charges and allegations against him.

(The most amusing exception, I think, is a 2006 lawsuit filed by UK music producer Richard “Diddy” Dearlove, who said he had been using that name since 1992 and objected to Combs’ use of it. Combs agreed to pay Dearlove a six-figure settlement and to stop calling himself “Diddy” in the UK. He still uses it elsewhere and of course has a wide variety of other names to choose from. US Magazine has the rundown of his naming history for those who care.)

But by June of this year—before the indictment but after several women had filed very public lawsuits against him—New York had decided that maybe it didn’t want Diddy to have a key to it. As the city’s website clarifies, this particular key is “purely symbolic—it does not open any locks or doors,” but given that we’re talking about Sean Combs here, it’s probably best not to take any chances. So, it had never occurred to me that someone might have to give back a “key to the city,” but Combs agreed to return this one after the city “nullified and rescinded” its award. He may have others, a problem that the nation’s cities may want to look into. See “Somebody Call a Locksmith! Diddy Still Has a Key to the City of Miami Beach,” Miami New Times (Sept. 19, 2024).

Even more amusing: the man who awarded Combs the Key to the City of New York, its mayor, Eric Adams, was himself indicted this week on multiple corruption charges, including claims he had taken bribes from Turkish officials. (I’m not a fan of the New York Post, but its headline today describes those claims as “GRAND THEFT OTTOMAN,” so credit where credit is due.) “The bad boy of entertainment is getting the Key to the City from the bad boy of politics,” Adams said at the time of the award, and it does seem like that has turned out to be true.