Things are remarkably stupid right now, but I’m trying to limit these to 500 words or so.

In this edition, “total authority,” felony eluding, coronavirus lawsuits, and an unlikely “date night” involving a Native American burial ground.

In this edition: ship attacked with train, drunken driver’s ed, a man tries to enforce a relationship promise in court, an alleged dinosaur attack, and so on.

In this edition: indifferent rabbits, one-star reviews, yet another failed water escape, and a cat fight.

A few reminders that “happy holidays” is an expression of hope, not necessarily a statement of fact.

In this edition: Krispy Kreme caves, “the voodoo” gives commands, criminal charges for overdue library books (again), and so forth.

In this edition: defendant’s five-day filibuster fails, Rotondo returns, a cost estimate for that moat the president wanted, and a questionable Russian lawsuit.

In this edition: dysfunctional demand notes; good punctuation (but bad behavior); the great-great-grandson of Kaiser Wilhelm II; a Bigfoot sighting in Kentucky; and why you shouldn’t throw a refrigerator off a cliff in Spain.

In this edition (among other things): elks, knights, serial toilet cloggers, Oregon and Florida legislators, the TSA, and beavers.

In this edition: Louisiana is still stuck with only two official songs; the TSA still exists; China and Australia are mentioned; and crooks chase each other in Florida.